Something I'm looking at at the moment is weight loss, or as we food professionals say, Strategic Limitation of Food Buildup (SLOFB - Not a pretty acronym, but all the really good ones like WUMPA are gone)
Specific and Rigorosly enforced clinical tests that I just made up (10 Twinkies = 50g x 10) say that an average male consumes between 500 and 2000g of food a day, which just goes to show how unbelievable clinical tests are. Incidentally, how many people have wondered (as have I) just where the clinical tests that the Panadol woman's studies come from? As she never actually states which clinic ran the tests, OR WHAT SORT of tests they were; saying "There is no better form of Pain Relief than Panadol" could mean "There is no form of pain relief better at coming in a white panadol box than panadol" or "There is no better form of Pain Relief at getting on Panadol commercials than Panadol", ad infinitum. (For those of you without Latino Parentus, that means until every- one in your flat starts shouting "SHUT UP, Cosby Show is back on!")
And just where is this clinic? They could have come from a VD clinic! It
could be that they are the best form of pain relief to beat crabs to death with
is panadol. And the other thing that makes me wonder, is;
How do we know exactly how intelligent the Panadol Lady is?
She could be a drooling vegetable, just plugged into a lab coat and hosed down for the Ad! Around about now, you'll be thinking, "Heck, I'm hungry; I think I'll read this later" which is the sign of a low attention span, so stop those thoughts and keep reading - it's character building.
Pleased to see you back with a new lease on the topic.
Anyway, my solution for weight loss that doesn't involve a hideous desexing steroid program or 3 hours of workout a day, is Tape worms. You know how doctors are now rediscovering leeches as a cure for all sorts of illnesses? Well, next it'll be tape worms for weight loss! Try it! It's bound to work. None of this Karen Carpenter binge dieting stuff - this is the real thing!!
Ok, so maybe you're not the worm type of person. But all it not lost. My second suggestion is: Get your jaw broken. I had a friend who got his jaw broken, and he lost heaps of kilos. That's what happens when you call Jenny Craig fat. Ask me how.
Ok, so maybe jaw breaking is out too.
What about glandular fever? A lot of people don't like it, but it's amazing what a good dose can do for your dietary problems.
Eating things you don't like's another way of avoiding putting on those ugly kilos - you eat less because you don't like it. A sure-fire way! I myself regularly diet on volkswagons, suede shoes and BeeGees posters, and believe me - I don't like it. But I lose weight.
Well, got to fly now, and remember, none of this has been tested and proven to be the best by me at my clinic.