Welcome to Simon's Stuff

Please Note:
These documents are provided without recourse, with no guarantees, real or implied, that they will cure cellulite problems, be acceptable to your parents, your children, or the bloke who stares at you sometimes when you're walking by yourself. If you feel in any way threatened by the above statement, seek counselling now! as it may already be getting out of hand. It's a big world and you're on your own I'm sorry. Remember to pack lots of food, a change of clothes, and "The Gulag Acipeligo" for when you can't sleep. A spare roll of toilet paper never goes amiss either - make sure it's at least 2-ply.
Never give up!

With a few noted exceptions, I do retain all copyright my material!

The options currently (and non-exclusively) available to you are:

  • Who am I and (more importantly) What do I want?