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Navero, 1st level human cleric
Dania, 1st level 1/2-wood elf MU
Rourk Ravensbane, 1st level drow cavalier
Rizudo, 1st level human fighter
Kortul, 1st level human fighter
We went riding into the marshes early in the morning; we expected
to reach the Orc cavern by that afternoon. The trek through the swamp
was largely uneventful, except for a big bunch of 6-armed squirrel-
like monkeys who would stare at us from the trees and throw things.
Rizudo once tried to shoot one, but they were impossibly fast. As we
neared the cave, we left our horses tethered and snuck up on foot;
within the cave, a number of eyes peered out, but they did not seem to
see us.
Rizudo: "Well, kids, what do we do with 'em?"
Rourk: "We will take them now. Pardon me while I prepare myself."
Dania: "What did the caves look like, Kortul?"
Kortul: "Dark, damp. Deadfall at entrance; killed three, Orcs
finished rest."
Rourk: "And you ran."
Kortul: "Quiet, munchkin."
Navero: "Maybe if we can get them out of the cave into daylight..."
Rizudo: "Yeah! Good idea! We smoke them out, then kill them as they
come running from the cave."
Navero: "Uh..."
Rourk: "A poor strategy. The cave is probably ventilated."
Dania: "Right. They must have another entrance anyway."
Navero: "Uh..."
Rizudo: "Look, these are Orcs, remember? Shit-for-brains? How much
of a problem do you think they'll be to fake out?"
Kortul: "Stupid." (Disgusted look at Rizudo)
Navero: "Uh..."
Rizudo: "Are you saying it won't work, o your buffness?"
Kortul: "hmm..."
Rizudo: "Well then, lets go get a bunch of wood!"
Navero: "Uh..."
Dania: "Only dead wood, now." (She is half-wood elf, and feels
somewhat protective of trees.)
Rourk: "Dead wood will not make enough smoke. It must be big, green
logs."
Navero: "Uh..."
Dania: "I'd rather you not chop down trees, dear. Besides, you
wouldn't want to dishonor your blades with mere wood."
Rourk: "Kortul, I perceive, has a hand axe. And we can use his blade
if necessary. One so large and unwieldy is of little use
otherwise."
Kortul: (Snarl.)
And so, the three warriors began uprooting saplings and chopping down
small trees. Dania ran around for a bit, pleading or threatening or
smacking them with her staff, but they ignored her and soon assembled a
large pile of green wood. Navero, having no great feelings about trees,
tried to comfort Dania with the knowledge that it seemed the best way to get
them out without hurting them, but she ignored him. By then, it was late in
the afternoon. We gathered the wood into a large pile on a hill in front of
the cave mouth; we could feel eyes on us, but we were out of range of any
but powerful longbows, which we were sure Orcs did not possess. We doused
the pile with lantern oil, lit it, and when it was burning nice and smoky,
we sent it all rolling down into the cave.
We were lucky; most of it went in, but not far enough in that we
couldn't see it. Then we sat up on the hill to watch; any Orc who
tried to put the fire out was shot. They tried throwing water on from
further back in the cave, but that didn't do much good. The wood
smoked merrily for a long time, but as evening approached, no Orcs
came fleeing out. It obviously wasn't working.
Dania: (Much grumbling and swearing) "Murderers."
Rizudo: "Oh, shut up. You're getting on our nerves. Why don't you go
play with yourself or something? Put that staff to good use."
Dania: "Go fuck yourself, asshole. Whatcha gonna do now? Throw in
some squirrel-monkeys?"
Rourk: "Perhaps if we offered them a magic-user."
Navero: "No!"
Party: (Stare at Navero)
Navero: "I mean..."
Dania: "The sun's setting. Any more bright ideas?"
No one did. Instead, we sat on the hilltop and argued about what
to do until we were interrupted by the sound of wings flapping. BIG
wings. Big, leathery wings that seemed right overhead. Suddenly,
from over the hill the cave was in, a great shape appeared. It looked
like the Wyvern, but it had four legs, was larger, and colored a great
oily black. The party scattered. Everyone but Rourk ran to hide in
the trees and bushes; he whistled for his dead horse, which did not
appear, then took his stand in the middle of the clearing. The dragon
did not attack directly, but merely soared above us, great and proud,
watching us. Rourk was about to call it a coward and demand that it
come down and fight, when a javelin whizzed past his helmet; he looked
downwards and saw nearly 20 Orcs charging towards him.
Rourk: "Ah, they are finally coming out. I shall go get my horse."
(Runs)
Dania: "That's *my* horse!" (Runs after him)
Navero: "Kortul, do you know the Orcish word for 'Stop'?"
Kortul: "Hudsdg. Get horses."
Dania easily outdistanced the heavily armored cavalier; she got
on her horse and rode off. Navero was second to reach the horses, and
went riding off after Dania, not wanting her get hurt. Rourk took
Kortul's horse, Kortul remained down on foot, and Rizudo hid in a tree.
At this point, things became somewhat chaotic, so I will try to take
things on an individual basis.
Rizudo: Hid in a tree for almost the whole fight. He was not
discovered only because all the other party members were making so
much noise. After it was over he claimed to have killed 6 Orcs.
Kortul: Picked off a few with his bow from the bushes, then crept about
in the dark, using his two-hander to kill more. I use the term 'crept'
lightly; sneaking in banded mail is no mean feat, especially around
creatures with infravision. He was on foot and alone, and so presented an
ideal target; nonetheless (this being AD&D) he was able to move fast enough
not to be overborne, and dispatched 8 Orcs while taking no damage himself.
Eventually they ran away and left him alone.
Rourk: Got onto Kortul's big horse with some difficulty, and charged
down the paths of the swamp, using his blades to great effect, until
he found an individual who was obviously their Chief. He dismounted
and challenged this worthy to personal combat. That worthy looked at
him like he was some sort of joke, and whistled. Nothing happened for
a moment, and so Rourk charged to do battle.
Rourk: "GLORY AND DEATH! GLORY AND DEATH!" (Hears wings again.) "Ah
ha! A foe far more worthy of my attention. I shall deal with
you when I have more time to do so; do not attempt to flee."
(Turns)
Dragon: (Lands on Rourk. Thump. Rourk is pinned to the marshy
ground.)
Orc Chief: (Gives dragon pat on the nose.) "Juug bruda!" (Good boy!)
Rourk: The Orc Chief said WHAT? And it didn't kill him?! Must be a
very young, stupid dragon. Are both my arms pinned?
Game Master: No, one is free.
Rourk: "I stab the dragon and tell it to get off of me." (Rolls for
the stab - it is a critical hit to the chest.)
Dragon: "Ow!" (Jumps up, off of Rourk, bleeding from a deep stab
wound.)
Chief: "Aaar! Mung mang itchy andap guufbol itz!" (Hey! Do you know
how valuable those things are?)
Rourk: "DIE, DRAGON!!" (Rolls again - another crit, to the chest.)
Dragon: (Bleeding, it flies away into the swamp, blubbering and
calling for its mother.)
Chief: (Runs away)
Rourk: "Damn, I'm good."
Dania and Navero: Dania went charging off into the forest, looking
for a place where she could be of some use. Navero went riding off
after her to protect her from the Orcs. They crossed over a run with
3 Orcs in it; Dania rode down one, but the others stayed up and took
swings at Navero. Navero did 'Command - stop' on one, using the new
word he just learned, and the other fortunately missed. They rode up
into the trees on the other side, hopefully to safety; then, three
more of Orcs jumped up in front of them, frightening the horses and
bringing them both to a halt. Navero realized he would have to fight
them; they were charging madly, with swords in their hands and blood
in their eyes, and he had to protect his friend.
Orc 1: (Tries to grab Navero's reins.)
Navero: "Yahh!" (Swings at Orc 1: fumble - brains his own horse.
"Oops" he thinks as he goes face-first into the mud.)
Dania: (Smacks one with her staff, for 4 hit points.)
Orc 2: (Stabs Dania for 1 hit point.)
Orc 3: (misses Dania.)
Navero: "I'll help you!" (Charges to the defense, and swings at Orc 2.
Fumble - brains Dania's horse. Dania says something unprintable
as she goes face-first into the mud.)
Orcs: (Start laughing.)
Dania: (Runs away, cursing violently.)
Navero: (Runs after her.)
Orcs: (Chase them, snickering.)
Dania: (Spins and Magic Missiles Orc 2; it dies.)
Navero: (Hits a tree for 5 points of damage.)
Orcs: (Miss, somehow.)
After quite a few rounds of this sort of thing, both Orcs lay
dead for no adequately explained reason. I believe Navero struck his
target once during the encounter, for one hit point of damage. After
it was all said and done, they stood there for a moment to collect
themselves, Navero staring at the ground, and Dania staring at Navero.
After she'd gotten her breath back, she began to speak to him.
Dania: "YOU GODAMN IDIOT!!! What the fuck do <censored> you think you
were doing?!?! You <censored> asshole, you little <censored>, I
ought break your <censored> stupid head off! GET THE FUCK OUT OF
MY GODAMN LIFE!!! I hate everything about you, you <censored>
<censored> sorry excuse <censored> little shithead <censored>
moronic... LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE, I don't ever want to see you
again in my entire fucking life, you <censored> <censored>
<really censored>! Just keep the hell away from me! Go
somewhere else! Leave, you <censored> moron!! TRY to <censored>
describe your <censored>, complete, and utter STUPIDITY!! You
incompetent! You idiot! You clumsy... IDIOT! Arghhh...! I
HATE you!! I hate the SIGHT of you! STAY AWAY FROM ME AND NEVER
COME NEAR ME AGAIN!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?!?!"
Navero: (Stares for a moment in numb silence.) "But... but... you're
the only friend I have."
Dania: (Erk! Arg! Ack! hatehatehate...) "You..." (Bugeyed stare.
hateha... oh... damn.) "Come on Nav, lets go get the Orcs, OK?"
She walked off into the forest, confused and angry and depressed
all at the same time, pointedly ignoring the horses. Navero, utterly
confused but somehow kind of happy, followed after. The Lords provide.
And so, our heros routed the band of Orcs. Those who survived,
including the chief, fled into the marshes, and were not seen again.
All that was left now was their cave.
Dan Parsons "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."
"It's ok. Forget it. I know you didn't. It's ok."